


three cheers for sweet revenge

by bleuboxes



Category: Brooklyn Nine-Nine (TV)
Genre: Alternate Universe, F/M, Humor, Pining, Romance, So yeah, and jake is p much in LOVE with amy's vigilante counterpart, basically amy's sort of like Daredevil, it's cool, the usual, you know
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-09-24
Updated: 2017-09-24
Packaged: 2019-01-04 17:27:03
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,875
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/12173433
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/bleuboxes/pseuds/bleuboxes
Summary: And well, sometimes (she hates to admit), she feels that being a cop just doesn’t cut it; that there’s something more that needs to be done because there isn’t time to go about things the legal way.aka Amy Santiago becomes a crime fighting vigilante.





	three cheers for sweet revenge

**Author's Note:**

> it's late and i was inspired by a number of things like:
> 
> 1\. Marvel's Daredevil and Jessica Jones (which are two awesome shows y'all should watch fyi)  
> 2\. That new fall out boy song which has the line "i know this whole damn city thinks it needs you, but not as much as i do"  
> 3\. matt telling me that writing this was a Good Idea.
> 
> anyway, this is basically crack and there's not nearly enough violence in it and it's also sort of not my favorite thing ever, but i don't care; i'm still uploading it bc i put a shit ton of work into this piece of shit and i'm not letting it rot in my docs folder never to see the light of day. 
> 
> also pls pardon any errors, i'm beyond exhausted and i tried my best at proofing. i'll check back tomorror or something and take a closer look. 
> 
> title is from a mcr's album of the same title bc im an emo piece of shiT

For the past few months, The 99 has been irked with reports of a masked vigilante marauding around the city, while most everyone agrees that the streets are probably better off with this anonymous “hero” wandering about kickin’ ass and takin’ names, there is a serious issue.

Vigilantes are dangerous. Vigilantes think they’re above the law. Vigilantes stir up a ruckus that the already tense streets of this city do not need.

Even if they are doing a good job at getting these dangerous criminals off the streets and into the custody of law enforcement. It’s just the ends do not justify the means when half-dead people show up on The 99’s doorstep.

So, that being said, Amy Santiago doesn’t think she’s above the law, she knows she is.

And the fact that her actions are so gruesome and totally un-Amy-like gives her all the advantage.

Amy hates breaking rules. Amy hates pointless violence, Amy hates tons of other stuff too, like how the legal system is sometimes the most bullshit thing she’s ever seen (and she’s seen actual bullshit).

And well, sometimes (she hates to admit), she feels that being a cop just doesn’t cut it; that there’s something more that needs to be done because there isn’t time to go about things the legal way.

One day it dawns on her that, well, she’s not completely normal (read: she’s got _unimaginable strength_ ), and she can be a cop _and_ have a hobby (that highly revolves around said super strength).

So, she goes to some shady guy who specializes in protective gear, buys a wig, finds a mask, and gives herself a new name.

It’s not like she can go around the streets of Brooklyn screaming she’s a cop while clearly not acting like a cop.

She does her research, and decides to adopt the name Adrestia (meaning ‘inescapable’) because it’s fitting _and_ educational – who doesn’t love a lesson in Mythology while getting their ass handed to them?

(The answer to that question is most criminals, as she soon finds out).

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Adrestia has been the talk of the precinct for a while now. Amy’s made sure that she’s involved in the discussion, but not too involved – the last thing she wants is to arouse suspicion (which she has to be super careful about because she’s literally working with a bunch of very, very competent detectives).

And in typical Santiago Fashion, she’s obviously anti-Adrestia.

“The law is the law for a reason, Rosa.” She sighs one day. Rosa, however, is not having it.

“Yeah, but sometimes laws are stupid.”

“But that doesn’t mean you can just assume it doesn’t apply to you.” She lies through her teeth.

“False!” Peralta yells from across the room. Amy’s not sure if he’s just yelling for the sake of yelling, or actually responding, because even with specialized hearing, it’s ridiculously loud in here and practically impossible to listen in on her and Rosa’s conversation.

Amy decides to ignore him, and get on with her life.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

That is, until she can’t ignore him, because all of a sudden, he’s literally ran into her on the street.

Well, not her, but Adrestia.

“ _Shit!”_

She doesn’t even bother to stick around; she’s sure he’d recognize her voice if she spoke directly to him. She jumps to the top of the building and runs.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

The next morning he’s instructed by Captain Holt to look into this menacing vigilante – whom Peralta kindly explains is no longer genderless – but, in fact, a woman.

Amy does her best to not melt into the back of her chair; she’s not sure if her attempts are in vain. 

That’s not even the worst part, because she has to spend the whole day listening to Peralta go on about how Adrestia bumped into him last night, how she got totally spooked because he’s the most menacing man ever (that a woman who can literally crush a handgun in her hands fears him), how he’s freaking out a little bit because while he knows that she's on the wrong side of the law,  Adrestia’s totally hot and he’s not really against what she’s doing.

Amy says something about how great rules are, and while he rolls his eyes at her blatant predictability, her mind is stuck on the bit where Jake Peralta thinks she’s hot.

It’s _really, really strange_ to say the least.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

She runs into Peralta again, after work, but this time, she doesn’t spook.

He asks her for an autograph.

She scrawls out Adrestia in signature un-Amy-like style – messy and hasty; he looks like a kid in a candy shop, and her heart warms. She first and foremost wants to help people, innocent people at that, and this autograph helps reinforce that idea. That it's because of the people of this city that she puts on the stupid white wig, the less than comfy black armor (that makes her feel a like Cat Woman, if she’s being completely honest), and the stupid mask.

“ _Thankyousomuch_!” Amy doesn’t think she’s ever seen him this happy.

That’s a lie, actually. She did go into a candy shop with him before.

“No problem.” She says as un-Santiago-y as possible. Peralta is so high on getting her autograph that he doesn’t seem to notice that her voice sounds everything like Amy Santiago and nothing like some ruthless vigilante woman, “I gotta, uh, get going –“

“Oh, yeah.” He says, awkwardly, “You, get to that… ass kicking.” He throws her two thumbs up. She can’t help but smile, despite herself.

“Will do.”

This time, when she jumps, she’s not filled with fear.

She does, however, still have his pen in her hand.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“Peralta if you shove that in my face again, _so help me god_ , I will rip it.”

He hugs the now framed autograph closer to his chest, looking at her in mock horror.

“You wouldn’t _dare_.”

“I would and I will, if you don’t shut up about your stupid law-breaking girlfriend.”

Of course, that’s when Boyle and his impeccably terrible timing decide to turn up; Amy just cannot seem to  win.

“Jake’s got a girlfriend?” he gasps, “And you didn’t tell me?”

“No, Boyle I –“

“Oh yeah, Charles,” Amy says, syrupy sweet, “Jake’s fallen head over teacups for that stupid vigilante person.” 

“ _Head over teacups_?” Peralta questions, obviously meant to poke fun at her. Amy’s only a tiny bit embarrassed.

Boyle looks scandalized that Jake's fallen for a criminal.

It’s the highlight of her week.

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Somehow, she ends up running into Peralta way to often while she’s patrolling at night.

And, well, she knows that he’s probably just seeking her company to figure out who she is underneath the wig and the armor and the annoying mask, but she comes to enjoy the time they spend together.

She doesn’t say much, but Amy’s always made a good listener, and well, anything that Peralta says always makes a fascinating story.

What really gets her is when he talks about her – and it’s as honest and real as it'll ever be because she knows that Peralta thinks of her as Adrestia – super hot ass kicker extraordinaire.

And he talks about her all the time. Every work story, Amy's referred to at least once, and that’s if the story isn’t even about her at all. He talks about Amy Santiago like she’s a goddess amongst mortals, always referring to how brilliant she is (even if he does find her extreme organization a little insane), how dedicated she is to her job, how she’s probably his best friend (but she’s not allowed to tell Boyle that or he’ll have his head).

All this talking gets a girl to reflect, and soon, Amy discovers that maybe Peralta isn’t just _Peralta_ after all.

 

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

Amy starts letting her guard down at work. She starts finding that she’s agreeing with what Jake is saying about Adrestia being above the law – how she means well even if she is beating these people half to death.

She throws away her self-respect because she might like Jake Peralta, like, _romantically,_ which is something that she’s sort of on edge about because Amy’s never really been good with emotional secrets; she’s pretty sure that Gina’s onto her (which is understandable, Gina has a way of knowing what’s going on with everyone at any given time; now that Amy thinks about it, Gina probably knows that she’s a Class-A Vigilante, too).

But that’s beyond the point. She’s letting herself appreciate the way he smiles at her when he thinks she isn’t looking. She lets herself remember that it’s her autograph sitting on his desk, she lets herself remember that she’ll hear all about his day and how he holds her in such high esteem after work (even if he won’t ever tell the real Amy Santiago).

She doesn’t even let the fact that he tells Adrestia more about himself than he’s ever told Amy Santiago bother her.

(And she thinks maybe Boyle was right, perhaps love doesn’t come to you gradually, it hits you over the head like a pile of bricks).

She starts becoming careless with her voice at night – punching criminals so hard that the walls they’re slammed against have human like indentations in them, and before dropping them off at the precinct, she’s always sure to tell them to say that Adrestia sends her regards.

She’s shouting her name anywhere where anyone can listen.

Her hubris is almost as bad as Ulysses’, and Amy’s a smart girl, but sometimes she wishes that she wasn’t so freaking reckless.

And even though she knows that something is going to ruin what she’s got going on, she can’t find it within herself to care.

Life is good right now, and she’s content with that (even if she shouldn’t be).

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

Jake’s talking to her again, it’s maybe two in the morning, and as soon as he’s done with the conversation, Amy’s going to be off to her apartment. But, she’s in the middle of listening to Jake recall a completely inaccurate account of how his partner (aka herself) won the World’s Biggest Nerd award.

“Sounds like you really like this girl.” She laughs, elbowing him a little harder than she should have, he winces and she’s filled with a sense of regret; she forgets how strong she is sometimes.

“Yeah.” He sighs.

“Why so _bleurgh_?” she asks, genuinely curious.

“It’s just, she’s so different from me, and I mean, _yeah_ we get a long, and yeah she’s probably the best person I’ve ever met and I don’t think I’ve told you this, but she’s like super beautiful and she says the silliest shit, but _god,_ I think I’m head over teacups for her and I’m just filled with _feelings_.” He shudders. Amy’s too caught up in the fact that he used her phrase – the teacups one – from weeks ago. The one he gave her shit for every day since the incident, and her heart just _bursts._

And then she takes the mask off, because for some reason, she decides that now’s a good time for Jake to know she’s been lying to him for months.

For a moment, she has a vision of everything crashing and burning: the autograph in the garbage, Gina telling her to cry a little quieter in a supply closet, Captain Holt privately calling her into his office and calling her a disappointment, and a bunch of other super shitty things happening, but that’s not the case, at all.

Because the smug bastard breaks out into the biggest smile and fist pumps.

“ _I knew it_!” he shouts; Amy’s a bit startled.

“What?”

“You -  being a secret badass – I knew it.” He smiles.

“But I made it very certain that no one would figure it out –“

“You forget that I’m the best detective-slash-genius.”

She stares at him blankly, he gaze doesn’t falter either until:

“You recognized my voice.”

“Yeah.” he aggressively nods, “I recognized your voice.”

It’s silent for a moment.

“So, no one else knows?”

“Nope.”

“Good.  Good. This is good.”

Amy looks down at her hands. Jake’s still looking at her.

“About the things I said –“

“Yeah –“

“Don’t feel like you owe me something because I _like_ you – Romantic Stylez, which I told you because well, I’m not sure why, but I get it if your night job leaves you with no time for going out with a normal dude or if you just, don’t want to go out at all I totally get it and that totally cool –“

“I like you too.” she blurts awkwardly, “I know that this whole vigilante thing is like _super illegal_  , but you make breaking the law worth it.”

“I’m pretty sure that you beating terrible douche bags to a pulp makes it worth it, but awe, Ames, I'm touched."

“No seriously, talking to you – or listening to you talk – makes my nights.” She elaborates. Jakes face softens.

“Your saying that because all I did was talk about how awesome you are.”

“Well, yeah, but I didn’t know you actually thought highly of me; and, it was nice to, uh, not be Amy Santiago with you.” She says sheepishly. She’s still looking down at her hands, but she can sense that Jake has a look of astonishment on his face.

He starts rambling on how that’s a load of bullshit because Adrestia is Amy and how she’s a super badass, awesome and (he emphasizes this one) beautiful woman as a cop and a freakin’ superhero, and he continues by expressing how he cannot believe that she could possibly think that he didn’t think of her like she was the center of the universe because he doesn’t think he’ll ever find a person he cares about as much as he cares about Amy or Adrestia or whoever.

Amy doesn’t think she’s smiled this much in her entire life.

That’s a lie; her smile was bigger when Captain Holt complimented her for the first time.

But that’s beyond the point, because Jake Peralta is here, in the middle of some disgusting, urine and garbage smelling alley, telling her that she’s basically the light of his life while she’s clad in hot (in two respects of the word) body armor and a ratchet looking wig.

It’s basically one of her life’s top ten moments.

Amy decides to make it a top five moment by engulfing Jake into a tight hug. She nuzzles herself between the crook of his neck, and allows herself to be comfortable. She’s pretty sure he kisses the top of her head, and it’s just absolutely perfect.

It would be better if it didn’t smell like sewer.

But that smell soon gets canceled out; he unwarps his arms from around her body, and moves so that he’s cradling her face in his hands. He’s got a smile that could rival hers plastered upon his face.

He whispers her name fondly and, the next thing she knows, she’s kissing him.

This is nice; nicer than she ever expected it (not that she was ever expecting Jake Peralta to kiss her – she’s been stuck in the frame of mind that she’d be pining from a measurable distance for the rest of her life).

But he’s sweet – it’s nothing too brash or crude – but the kiss is what Amy can only describe as something straight out of a Disney Movie.

(Jake would definitely be the damsel in this situation, because, well, _reasons_.)

So basically, It’s the best moment of her life.

(And by that she means second best; kissing Jake is awesome, but _holy god,_ sex with Jake is possibly the best thing Amy’s ever experienced.)

 

 

* * *

 

 

 

 

“What does the Adrestia mean?” Jake asks shoving a spoon full of Lucky Charms into his mouth the next morning.

“Does it have to mean something?” she tries to brush it off cooly, “I could have just picked it because it sounded cool, you know. Because it does sound cool.” She finishes, he looks at her with this unbelieving grin as he shakes his head. She thinks it’s because she’s wearing nothing but his shirt that he’s so amused, but she can’t really find it within herself to care.

“No, of course not, it’s just you’re not really the kind of person that just picks names just for funzies.”

“Well, I did put a lot of research into it… now that you bring it up.”

“Yeah, and?” he urges.

“Adrestia, ‘she who cannot be escaped’, goddess of equilibrium, balance between good and evil, just retribution and revolt, handmaiden of the goddess Nemesis – I thought it was fitting.” She lists.

“Amy,” Jake says seriously, “that’s the most badass nerd shit I’ve ever heard.”

“Yeah, well, you’re talking to a badass nerd, so.” Amy waltzes over to him.

“Hell yeah, I am.” He smiles, kissing her happily.

This goes on for roughly ten minutes when:

“Just how hard can you punch though, like, seriously in that one headline where you like broke that guys face with a wall how much of that was you and how much was the wall?”

“Twelve percent wall.” She whispers.

Jake gulps.

“ _Damn._ ” He answers shakily. 

He goes back to eating, and she scribbles something down on the legal pad on the counter.

"Wait a second is that my pen?"

 

 

 

 

 

 

**Author's Note:**

> comments/kudos are the bee's knees.


End file.
